Bonekickers, or as someone on the BBC message board called it: Bonk’ers

who left the dog out?

I know many people have criticized this series, myself included and you have to respect the opinions of those people who like it, but the last episode plumbed new depths of badness. I watched it because I have an interest in Arthurian Mythology which is, for me, a rich and important aspect of this land’s mythological history. To mess with it is the same as messing with Australian Aborigine Dreamtime mythology, or the beliefs of religions. It was pretty obvious that the writers have absolutely zero knowledge of these mythologies or their origins. I accept that it is fantasy, a fictional and fun series but, in the same breath, you can not ride slipshod and alter ancient mythology just for the fun of it.

“It’s a fake!” cries our feisty (and immature) herione, she knows this because a ring pull is found under the segment of table. Any decent archeologist would have realised something was amiss when Lancelot’s name appeared next to Arthur’s on the stone. Lancelot was a late edition to the mythology, coming through the French and Breton Romances of the 13th century, so would not be on a 6th century find. At one point she spoke the immortal line “Let the experts deal with it”…what experts would that be then?

There she goes calling Vivienne an “Arthurian Witch” again, she really should read up on her mythology.

Tennyson’s work was, in the main, influenced by Malory who wrote the well known English version of the mythology some centuries after the cycles in French that marked the first written versions in the 13th-14th century, as such his was a heavily Churchified and fairly muddled account which bore little relation to the earlier romances.

Using Arthur as a Golden Age figure for a rejuvinated England is pretty insulting. If there was an historical figure he, definately, was not English: He fought the Anglo Saxons! If anything Arthur was of the people who became the Welsh, Cymry…and those in Cumbria and up into parts of Scotland. He was “Anglosized” by various monarchs trying to establish a right to rule.

So, I am being a bit picky. Yet, it is not just the meddling with mythological material, the aspect that really turns me off this series is the, quite frankly, appalling writing. The exposition is dreadful, the inter-personal relationships between characters is creaky and hard to believe. The plot lines are, wait for it, so fantastical as to be laughable….the contrived lineage of the sword just…..insulting on a number of levels. Maybe we can accept that they arranged to get the segment of stone table back to their lab, but the bad guys did a good job of taking it..must have needed at least six men…and a fork lift truck. Her mother is a resident in a nursing home but has managed to construct a nice little secret room under the floorboards, you would have thought someone might have noticed. Kind of the authorities to leave Wells Cathedral open over night too and I want to know where I can buy one of those torches that can shine like a laser through stained glass window and illuminate a lakebed.

These things do matter, unless you are happy to allow anyone whose written a pretty poor script as a under-graduate the opportunity and the tax payers money to make stuff like this. I might be doing a scriptwriting MA soon, I just want to confirm the university did not produce the people who wrote this. If they did, I think I might go elsewhere because, to be brutally honest, it was dreadful.

Who left the dog out? That dog being of course Scoobydoo. The similarity Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, etc is quite uncanny. The bad guys would have got away with it if it hadn’t been for those pesky kids, the writers, certainly, got a way with it.

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